My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
