She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
