thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
