At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
