the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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