Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
