i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
