Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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