Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
