just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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