How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I think my fart just growled at me.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
