I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
