She's JV to your varsity
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
