when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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