i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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