he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
