why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
