Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
