Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
