I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I could fuck to npr.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
