Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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