I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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