Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Do vagina's smell?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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