I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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