look no pants
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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