AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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