This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
a search helicopter?!
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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