If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
