I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I love you.
Bad choice
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
