It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
