She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
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