Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
