I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Randomize
