Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
