Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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