I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
