If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
