if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
