I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
