I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
