where am i from again
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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