OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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