porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
That accounts for only three of the penises
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
