hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
