My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
