I think my vagina is haunted
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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