Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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