i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
being pregnant is like rehab
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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