We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
