sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize