Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize