Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
