Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
