I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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