am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Floor bacon is actually really good
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
