he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize