The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize