We're facebook friends in real life
...so i touched it.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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