Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
