He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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