saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
sex in a hospital.. check
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
